I gave a talk entitled “Our Fear or Love” in Guangzhou early this year to mark the release of my book “Phobias”《假如我們什麼都不怕》. Thanks to an invitation from WeTalk, excerpts can be shared with you here.

Chapter Two: Affections

Regarding family relationship, I believe it was where I initially learnt how to deal with affections and it is also the starting point for most people to learn how to love others. I came from the grassroots and my dad passed away when I was very young, so I got really close to my mum and sister. Sometimes such bonding was an entanglement to me. I felt some kind of tension especially when I began to look for freedom and my own position in this world. In fact, I had had some conflicts and disagreements with my mum over my career choice.

I believe that all affections, sometimes in good conditions but sometimes not, are complicated and need to be nourished wholeheartedly. I highly cherish affections and interpersonal relationships, yet I understand that any relationship may come to an end at any time. That’s why I must learn how to live a good life on my own on one hand and treasure every relationship on the other hand.

In this age, love is glorified and fairy-tale love advocated. I trust that if all of us, when in face of complicated affections, can be more realistic and easy-going, and ready to accept contingencies, unfamiliar or imperfect things, we will have less fear but more ability to deal with any issue that comes up.     

(To be continued)

(This article is a translation only. The original article is in Chinese.)

(Source of photos: Wikimedia Commons)